child care: the exit

I recently started a new 13 month old day care boy.  His mom is very young and has a difficult time with separation.  She has to arrive at my house 30 minutes early so she has time to say goodbye. 

At first I thought it was just because she didn't know me and was a little unsure about leaving her baby with a stranger.  But it's been about a month now and it shows no sign of stopping. 

It's sad because the little boy loves it here and is always excited to come in the door.  At first he is oblivious to her but after she stands around begging him again and again to come "give mama loving, I got to go to work", he starts to realize she's sad and uncomfortable leaving and begins to feel like he should be upset too.

Tearful goodbyes are fun for no one.  This post goes into more detail but if the goal is to foster a healthy separation between you and your child, please don't linger.  Just give one kiss, say "I'll be back soon" and LEAVE!  

child care: interview hints and tips

A provider friend of mine is interviewing this week for one opening. She has multiple families to pick from for the one spot. I thought I would pass along some information for helping you to stand out from other applicants when interviewing with a highly qualified and recommended home childcare professional. Providers are just as busy as you are and our time is just as precious so we appreciate clients who demonstrate that they understand this from the get-go.

Most importantly; Keep your appointment. Nothing sets off more of a red flag than a no show/no call for an interview. At worse, it shows us how little respect you have for us and for our time. At best, you reveal yourself as a disorganized person who is unable to keep track of her own obligations. Keep in mind that many local providers maintain some type of contact so the news of your bad behavior is likely to spread.

Ask if there is a link to a parent handbook you can review before the appointment. If there is a policy or procedure in the handbook you have a strong objection to, it may be helpful to have a phone conversation ahead of time to clarify it. You don't want to waste your time and ours by interviewing in spite of objections you can't overcome. For example, if the childcare provider serves only vegetarian meals and you want your child eating chicken for lunch, you probably want to pass on the interview.

Come prepared with a list of questions. Nothing should be assumed. Nothing will shock us. We are the one who will spend the majority of your child's waking hours with her. You are entitled to the information.

If your child is going to be a distraction because he can't play quietly while you interview the provider, you will want to leave him at home for the initial interview. It is important to see how your child interacts with the provider, but it's more important to discover if the childcare is a good fit for your family.

If you see anything markedly objectionable or dangerous in the home, (a provider caring for more than 6 children, smoking, filth, signs of drug use etc.) you need to report the provider to the county job and family services childcare division. You can do this confidentially. Please do it to protect the kids. They can't do it themselves.

FOLLOW UP with the provider within a week. Even if it is only to say you are still deciding. If you have chosen another provider and feel a phone conversation would be akward, just send email to the others you were considering to say, "Thanks for your time but we have found another provider who is a better fit for our needs."

Following these simple guidelines is the first step to a long and mutually respectful relationship with your new provider.

Child Care: healthy meal habits

As a daycare provider, I get to participate in the Child and Adult Food Care Program. They train me twice a year, how to serve healthy proportionate meals to children in my care. I spend a lot of time planning for nutritious meals and snacks that the kids will eat.

Check out this chart. Did you know that the correct grain serving size for a preschool child aged 3-5 is a half a slice of bread? That will make 1/4 a sandwich. Their bellies are not all that big so we need to stop making them entire sandwiches and then complaining when they don't clear their plate.

One of the children I take care of was labeled "overweight" by her doctor a while ago. Dealing with weight issues myself, I know how horrible this can be so I work extra hard for her to monitor that what she is eating is not only healthy but the correct serving size.

Two weeks in a row she has come back from lunch with the grandparents with an entire donut to be eaten as "dessert". I know she has just eaten an unmonitored lunch with them so has probably already consumed too many calories. Now they want me to feed her an entire fat laden, fat and sugar frosted, fried donut? Call me the bad guy but I put it in the book bag for her mom to deal with.

When choosing a day care situation for YOUR child, be sure to evaluate the nutritional standards of the program. Ask to see the menus and find out how they are planned. Quiz the provider about appropriate serving sizes. Food should never be used as a reward or punishment. You do have a say in how your child's nutritional needs are met when you are at work.

If you are like most people, your child spends most of his waking hours in a child care situation. Please do your part to make sure he is learning healthy nutritional habits and eating patterns. One day he will thank you for it!