A friend's status update in my FaceBook newsfeed this morning:
Jane Doe "is in the middle of teenage daughter rebellion years. But then I get word that an old friends son has stage 4 cancer and now everything is in perspective...."
I am thankful that God uses circumstances like this to adjust our outlook on things. And I'm so very sad for this family. :( A family near our neighborhood has also recently been told they will be losing a child to this disease. My heart breaks for all of them.
Losing a child is the worst thing. Beside that, everything else looks like no big deal.
Even teenage rebellion.
Looking back from the other side of my first experience with it, I wish I'd trusted in the Lord MORE and worried a lot LESS. He loves my children more than I ever could.
And I'm thankful that:
1. as big the storm seemed at the time, my God is much bigger.
2. it's a bit like the pain of childbirth, easily forgotten when it's gone.
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Sunday, November 14, 2010
almost speechless
I had an interview with the sweetest couple and their 7 week old son today.
And, I learned something new(always good).
Elimination Communication.
This is a practice where you closely monitor your infant for signs that he is ready to go potty. Then you take his pants off and put a receptacle underneath him to "catch" the product. In a nutshell(from someone who knows very little about it), the theory is that since no animal in nature does it's business where it lives, we should not train babies to do their business inside their diaper. And that they actually are born knowing that they shouldn't and struggle to communicate this to us. But we ignore them and are stuck later retraining them that poop and pee belong in the toilet and not in their pants.
And, I learned something new(always good).
Elimination Communication.
This is a practice where you closely monitor your infant for signs that he is ready to go potty. Then you take his pants off and put a receptacle underneath him to "catch" the product. In a nutshell(from someone who knows very little about it), the theory is that since no animal in nature does it's business where it lives, we should not train babies to do their business inside their diaper. And that they actually are born knowing that they shouldn't and struggle to communicate this to us. But we ignore them and are stuck later retraining them that poop and pee belong in the toilet and not in their pants.
 |
| Hhhmmmmmmmmmmm. |
Saturday, October 23, 2010
recreational soccer mom's primer
1. Subbing (non-injury) I know it's frustrating. The ref seems to be ignoring the subs your child's coach has waiting at mid field. The other players are tired and you are hoping these subs can breathe life into the rest of the half. Your child's coach can only put subs in when the game stops for his own throw in or his own goal kick or after a goal. OR if the other team is subbing on their own throw in or goal kick. As long as the other team is able to keep the play going without a score or sending the ball out of bounds, your subs will keep waiting.
2. Injuries If the injured player is not involved in the play the ref is not required to stop the game. This only makes sense. If your teams best player got a breakaway, one of the other teams players could just cry injured to stop the play and give his teammates more time to set up and stop the goal. When the play does stop, the coach may send in one substitution for his injured player.
3. Loose shoelaces Ditto my last point. Play will not be stopped to give somebody time to tie their shoes. It's not the ref's responsibility to make sure your kid's shoes are tied. Double knot them before they get out of your car.
4. Goalie SURPRISE!!! The goalie is permitted to come out of the box. Once the goalie is out of the box they are considered a regular player and may not use their hands in play. She better be quick to get back though if she doesn't want to be running laps around the field after the game.
5. Heckling However the ref calls it, that's the way it is. The ref is not going to change his call based on how mad or how loud you get. No ref will see absolutely everything and make every call correctly. You should know the referee is allowed to penalize your team based on too much heckling from parents. This could include banning the most vocal ones from the next game or the extreme of calling the game off. If you think you can do that much better, take the class, buy the uniform, and have a go at it but give the ref a break.
6. Playing time In most recreational leagues all players must have equal playing time. The coach may not keep in his best players at the expense of playing time for the weaker ones. My husband technique is to "hide" his weak players on offense. Whatever your child's coach chooses to do, he has to give all players equal time.
Finally....
7. Remember Don't put too much emphasis on the win. This is recreational youth soccer. Yelling and negativity won't encourage the love of the game. If your child shows a lot of talent maybe it's time to move on to a more competitive league.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
child care: the exit
I recently started a new 13 month old day care boy. His mom is very young and has a difficult time with separation. She has to arrive at my house 30 minutes early so she has time to say goodbye. At first I thought it was just because she didn't know me and was a little unsure about leaving her baby with a stranger. But it's been about a month now and it shows no sign of stopping.
It's sad because the little boy loves it here and is always excited to come in the door. At first he is oblivious to her but after she stands around begging him again and again to come "give mama loving, I got to go to work", he starts to realize she's sad and uncomfortable leaving and begins to feel like he should be upset too.
Tearful goodbyes are fun for no one. This post goes into more detail but if the goal is to foster a healthy separation between you and your child, please don't linger. Just give one kiss, say "I'll be back soon" and LEAVE!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Making the switch: A young person's pocket guide to surviving transition times with divorced parents
I'm the kid! Dealing with Parent Drama
Even though we are all taught in the court mandated parenting class that it is in your best interests for us to refrain from exposing you to our arguments, unfortunately there are some parents who will never learn to get along. And sometimes you get drawn into the conflicts. It's helpful to have a response ready when this stuff happens. Something simple like, "Please don't involve me in this stuff. I have enough to deal with of my own." (Parents reading this, please hire a therapist to dump your insecurities and issues on, don't do it to your children.)
Where's my stuff?
Constantly moving between two households can make it hard to keep track of your favorite things. I've found that a large duffel bag can come in very handy. The super size kind they sell in the sporting goods stores. The bag itself is very light and can fit a ton or just a little bit. Whatever you happen to need. If you keep your things in this when they aren't in use, it is much easier to keep track of them. An added bonus is that you don't have to spend so much time packing things up for each switch.
Sorry, I can't make it. Missed activities
This becomes more of an issue the older you get. You have to spend time with both parents but friends are becoming more important. When parents live any distance from one another, getting to things like sporting events, birthday parties and sleepovers can be a challenge. If you don't have parents who are willing to sacrifice, there isn't much you can do about this. Make sure your parents understand how this makes you feel. Maybe you can negotiate at least one activity a month. Social networking (facebook and myspace) and texting can make staying in touch with friends a little easier but doesn't make up for the missed events IRL.
Even though we are all taught in the court mandated parenting class that it is in your best interests for us to refrain from exposing you to our arguments, unfortunately there are some parents who will never learn to get along. And sometimes you get drawn into the conflicts. It's helpful to have a response ready when this stuff happens. Something simple like, "Please don't involve me in this stuff. I have enough to deal with of my own." (Parents reading this, please hire a therapist to dump your insecurities and issues on, don't do it to your children.)
Where's my stuff?
Constantly moving between two households can make it hard to keep track of your favorite things. I've found that a large duffel bag can come in very handy. The super size kind they sell in the sporting goods stores. The bag itself is very light and can fit a ton or just a little bit. Whatever you happen to need. If you keep your things in this when they aren't in use, it is much easier to keep track of them. An added bonus is that you don't have to spend so much time packing things up for each switch.
Sorry, I can't make it. Missed activities
This becomes more of an issue the older you get. You have to spend time with both parents but friends are becoming more important. When parents live any distance from one another, getting to things like sporting events, birthday parties and sleepovers can be a challenge. If you don't have parents who are willing to sacrifice, there isn't much you can do about this. Make sure your parents understand how this makes you feel. Maybe you can negotiate at least one activity a month. Social networking (facebook and myspace) and texting can make staying in touch with friends a little easier but doesn't make up for the missed events IRL.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Child Care: healthy meal habits
As a daycare provider, I get to participate in the Child and Adult Food Care Program. They train me twice a year, how to serve healthy proportionate meals to children in my care. I spend a lot of time planning for nutritious meals and snacks that the kids will eat.
Check out this chart. Did you know that the correct grain serving size for a preschool child aged 3-5 is a half a slice of bread? That will make 1/4 a sandwich. Their bellies are not all that big so we need to stop making them entire sandwiches and then complaining when they don't clear their plate.
One of the children I take care of was labeled "overweight" by her doctor a while ago. Dealing with weight issues myself, I know how horrible this can be so I work extra hard for her to monitor that what she is eating is not only healthy but the correct serving size.
Two weeks in a row she has come back from lunch with the grandparents with an entire donut to be eaten as "dessert". I know she has just eaten an unmonitored lunch with them so has probably already consumed too many calories. Now they want me to feed her an entire fat laden, fat and sugar frosted, fried donut? Call me the bad guy but I put it in the book bag for her mom to deal with.
When choosing a day care situation for YOUR child, be sure to evaluate the nutritional standards of the program. Ask to see the menus and find out how they are planned. Quiz the provider about appropriate serving sizes. Food should never be used as a reward or punishment. You do have a say in how your child's nutritional needs are met when you are at work.
If you are like most people, your child spends most of his waking hours in a child care situation. Please do your part to make sure he is learning healthy nutritional habits and eating patterns. One day he will thank you for it!
Check out this chart. Did you know that the correct grain serving size for a preschool child aged 3-5 is a half a slice of bread? That will make 1/4 a sandwich. Their bellies are not all that big so we need to stop making them entire sandwiches and then complaining when they don't clear their plate.
One of the children I take care of was labeled "overweight" by her doctor a while ago. Dealing with weight issues myself, I know how horrible this can be so I work extra hard for her to monitor that what she is eating is not only healthy but the correct serving size.
Two weeks in a row she has come back from lunch with the grandparents with an entire donut to be eaten as "dessert". I know she has just eaten an unmonitored lunch with them so has probably already consumed too many calories. Now they want me to feed her an entire fat laden, fat and sugar frosted, fried donut? Call me the bad guy but I put it in the book bag for her mom to deal with.
When choosing a day care situation for YOUR child, be sure to evaluate the nutritional standards of the program. Ask to see the menus and find out how they are planned. Quiz the provider about appropriate serving sizes. Food should never be used as a reward or punishment. You do have a say in how your child's nutritional needs are met when you are at work.
If you are like most people, your child spends most of his waking hours in a child care situation. Please do your part to make sure he is learning healthy nutritional habits and eating patterns. One day he will thank you for it!
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Busy Friday
Dad had a holiday from his day job but it was still a very busy Friday for the Family Of 9. The main task of the day was a bedroom swap. Emma moved downstairs into the extra bedroom. Meanwhile Brook & Rachel moved out of the extra bedroom and into the room Emma left. (This room had been Rachel's, then Emma's, and now is shared by Brooke & Rachel.)
This was a difficult job as we moved stuff out of both rooms, and cleaned them well, before moving anything back in so we had 2 bedrooms worth of stuff piled in the living room and family room for most of the day. Emma plans to paint her room in a few weeks so much of her stuff is still in the living room.
Meanwhile, Mom had a doctor appointment and needed to do some shopping, so Dad fixed lunch for the kids, while supervising the moves and carrying most of the bigger stuff. We had Ramen noodles, chicken nuggets, curly fries, jello beans, with a few leftovers mixed in.
Then around 5 Dad went to his pizza delivery job and Emma went with her father to the Detroit Cobras concert. Shortly, the rest of the family followed Dad to his pizzeria for dinner but Dad was so busy making deliveries that he didn't even get to stop to see them.
This was a difficult job as we moved stuff out of both rooms, and cleaned them well, before moving anything back in so we had 2 bedrooms worth of stuff piled in the living room and family room for most of the day. Emma plans to paint her room in a few weeks so much of her stuff is still in the living room.
Meanwhile, Mom had a doctor appointment and needed to do some shopping, so Dad fixed lunch for the kids, while supervising the moves and carrying most of the bigger stuff. We had Ramen noodles, chicken nuggets, curly fries, jello beans, with a few leftovers mixed in.
Then around 5 Dad went to his pizza delivery job and Emma went with her father to the Detroit Cobras concert. Shortly, the rest of the family followed Dad to his pizzeria for dinner but Dad was so busy making deliveries that he didn't even get to stop to see them.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
My husband the genius, OR How to get control of your kids' gaming.
One of my goals for 2007 was to get some sort of control over exactly how much time our brood sits in front of electronic screens. I suggested to Kevin that I'd like some help on this. He didn't get back to me for a while, but when he did, I was very impressed with what he came up with. It is now posted on our refrigerator.
Last night at my monthly card club meeting, the early childhood psychologist in our group suggested I post it on the web for the enlightenment of others. Here it is.
[Screen time includes: Video Games on TV (Xbox, Playstation, Sega, Nintendo, ...) TV Shows, Computer Games, Internet, and Handheld Games (Nintendo DS, Gameboy)]
Exemptions:
1. School work done on the computer
2. Movies watched as a family (4 or more people)
3. Sporting events
4. Reality TV, Award Shows, and similar events may or may not count (PARENTS DECIDE)
5. Video games as physical activity (i.e. DDR)
School Night Limits (Monday - Thursday)
1. 2 hours(elementary students) or 3 hours(7th-12th grade) per person
2. Maximum of one and a half hours at the same activity
3. Homework must be done first
4. Bed must be made and room must be neat
5. If you play without doing #3 or #4 you may receive a 2-3 school night suspension
Grades:
(This will apply to interim reports and quarterly grades, and will last until the next grading period. 7th grade and above will have penalties doubled.)
1. If you have all A's and B's you will get 2 hours.
2. If you have any C's you will lose 1/2 hour.
3. If you have any D's you will lose 1 hour total (you will get 1 hour).
Weekend Limits (Saturday & Sunday)
1. Four hours per person of screen time
2. Maximum 2 consecutive hours, then you must do another (non-video) activity for at least 1 hour
Friday Nights: No limits.
School Holidays / Snow Days, etc Same as weekend limits
Reserving the TV:
1. If you have a show you want to watch, you may reserve the main tv for 1 hour per day at a specific time. We will have a reservations sheet and reservations must be made at least the day before.
2. If you have a weekly show, you can have a standing reservation (example, every Thursday night).
3. If more than one people want to reserve the same time slot, a parent will decide (by taking turns, etc)
Sharing Game Time:
1. If you are taking turns or playing a multi-player game, that counts as your time.
2. If you are watching someone else play while waiting your turn, that counts as your time.
3. If someone is waiting to play, there is a 1/2 hour limit.
4. If 2 or more people are waiting to play, they both must be given a choice to play (as partners / opponents). If they do not want to play together, one may choose to wait again for the next open turn.
Summer Limits:
1. Same as weekend limits
2. Must do 1/2 hour physical activity before each 2-hour block of screen time.
Last night at my monthly card club meeting, the early childhood psychologist in our group suggested I post it on the web for the enlightenment of others. Here it is.
Family of 9 "Screen Time" Policy
[Screen time includes: Video Games on TV (Xbox, Playstation, Sega, Nintendo, ...) TV Shows, Computer Games, Internet, and Handheld Games (Nintendo DS, Gameboy)]
Exemptions:
1. School work done on the computer
2. Movies watched as a family (4 or more people)
3. Sporting events
4. Reality TV, Award Shows, and similar events may or may not count (PARENTS DECIDE)
5. Video games as physical activity (i.e. DDR)
School Night Limits (Monday - Thursday)
1. 2 hours(elementary students) or 3 hours(7th-12th grade) per person
2. Maximum of one and a half hours at the same activity
3. Homework must be done first
4. Bed must be made and room must be neat
5. If you play without doing #3 or #4 you may receive a 2-3 school night suspension
Grades:
(This will apply to interim reports and quarterly grades, and will last until the next grading period. 7th grade and above will have penalties doubled.)
1. If you have all A's and B's you will get 2 hours.
2. If you have any C's you will lose 1/2 hour.
3. If you have any D's you will lose 1 hour total (you will get 1 hour).
Weekend Limits (Saturday & Sunday)
1. Four hours per person of screen time
2. Maximum 2 consecutive hours, then you must do another (non-video) activity for at least 1 hour
Friday Nights: No limits.
School Holidays / Snow Days, etc Same as weekend limits
Reserving the TV:
1. If you have a show you want to watch, you may reserve the main tv for 1 hour per day at a specific time. We will have a reservations sheet and reservations must be made at least the day before.
2. If you have a weekly show, you can have a standing reservation (example, every Thursday night).
3. If more than one people want to reserve the same time slot, a parent will decide (by taking turns, etc)
Sharing Game Time:
1. If you are taking turns or playing a multi-player game, that counts as your time.
2. If you are watching someone else play while waiting your turn, that counts as your time.
3. If someone is waiting to play, there is a 1/2 hour limit.
4. If 2 or more people are waiting to play, they both must be given a choice to play (as partners / opponents). If they do not want to play together, one may choose to wait again for the next open turn.
Summer Limits:
1. Same as weekend limits
2. Must do 1/2 hour physical activity before each 2-hour block of screen time.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
The Dilema - Treating All Kids Evenly
In a recent post to my Weekends With Dad blog, I describe how Luke and I won free Cavs tickets. This has created a minor dilemma in our household.
Victoria is concerned, and rightly so, that Nathan (who is Luke's age and plays on the same basketball team as Luke) will be jealous that I am taking Luke to the game and not Nathan. Nathan has a father but he is currently in Oregon. The speak about once a week on the phone. He recently sent Nathan and Jacob a Nintendo DS game. But he really is not involved in their lives in any significant way at this time.
Is me taking Luke to the game being unfair to Nathan? What is the right way to handle things like this? I'm not really sure.
I will post more later when I have (hopefully) gained more insight into this issue. I just wanted to get it down in writing for now.
Victoria is concerned, and rightly so, that Nathan (who is Luke's age and plays on the same basketball team as Luke) will be jealous that I am taking Luke to the game and not Nathan. Nathan has a father but he is currently in Oregon. The speak about once a week on the phone. He recently sent Nathan and Jacob a Nintendo DS game. But he really is not involved in their lives in any significant way at this time.
Is me taking Luke to the game being unfair to Nathan? What is the right way to handle things like this? I'm not really sure.
I will post more later when I have (hopefully) gained more insight into this issue. I just wanted to get it down in writing for now.
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