the pit

(An old pastor of mine used this story at least twice that I know of.  I couldn't find it exactly the way he read it and have no idea who this is originally from but I love it.)

There was a man who fell into a very deep pit. 


A Hindu said, “You deserve to end up in a pit for your past life.” 
Confucius said, “If you had listened to me, you would not be in a pit.” 
A Christian scientist said to the man, “You only think you’re in a pit.”
Buddha said, “Your pit is only a state-of-mind.” 
A geologist said, “Appreciate the rock strata of the pit.” 
An evolutionist said, “You are a rejected mutant destined to be removed from the evolutionary cycle, which means you will die in that pit without producing any pit falling offspring.” 
A construction inspector came by and said, “Brother, you got a permit for that pit?” 
A self-pitying person said, “You haven’t seen anything ‘til you’ve seen my pit.” 
A positive confessor said, “Just say this over and over again:  ‘I am not in a pit.  I am not in a pit.’” 
An optimist said, “Things could be worse.” 
A pessimist said, “Things will get worse.” 

A follower of Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him out of the pit.